Postpartum Depression in Men: Signs in New Fathers and Where to Get Help

Postpartum depression in men is real: fathers and non-birthing partners can develop depression and anxiety during pregnancy and in the year after a baby arrives, sometimes called paternal perinatal depression. A 2010 meta-analysis in JAMA estimated prenatal and postpartum depression at 10.4% of fathers across the studies it pooled. In men it can show up as irritability, withdrawal or disappearing into work rather than obvious sadness, and a family doctor, a provincial health line or a therapist are reasonable places to start.

If you are thinking about suicide, or about harming yourself or someone else, do not wait for an appointment: call or text 9-8-8 (Canada, 24/7). If you or anyone else is in immediate danger, call 911.

Can Men Get Postpartum Depression?

They can. "Postpartum" means after the birth; research on fathers also uses "perinatal", which runs from pregnancy through the first year. This article says "father" because fathers are who the cited research studied, but the questions apply to any parent who did not give birth, including adoptive parents and same-sex partners.

That 10.4% figure comes from Paulson and Bazemore's 2010 meta-analysis in JAMA, which pooled results from separate studies. It reported a higher rate, 25.6%, for the three- to six-month postpartum period. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), in clinician guidance on new fathers adapted from its 2019 Psychiatry in Primary Care guide, puts paternal postpartum depression at 10 percent of men, from the first trimester to a year after the birth.

There is Canadian data too. A pan-Canadian study led by Cindy-Lee Dennis, published in Depression and Anxiety, recruited 2,500 fathers in the first three weeks after their child's birth. As the University of Toronto reported in 2022, nearly 22 per cent of those fathers experienced high rates of both anxiety and depression at some point in the first year.

These numbers depend on how each study measured symptoms, so read them as a sense of scale. A struggling new father is not an oddity.

What Does Postpartum Depression Look Like in a New Father?

It can arrive without tears. CAMH's guidance notes that men may not match the textbook criteria for depression and may cope with distress through anger, aggression and addiction instead. The Government of Canada's page on dads' feelings after a baby is born lists sadness, anger, irritability and hopelessness, and changes in sleeping and eating. It adds that a father can have trouble bonding with the baby, and that the relationship with a partner can become strained and distant. Eastern Health in Newfoundland and Labrador adds withdrawal, lost interest in hobbies, risk-taking, substance use and a heavier focus on work. In daily life, that can look like this:

• →A shorter fuse. Snapping at your partner over the dishwasher, getting angry at the crying and then feeling ashamed of it.
• →Pulling away. Going quiet at home, dropping friends, losing interest in the sport or hobby that used to be yours. Our article on male loneliness looks at how friendships can drift after a change like this one.
• →Hiding in work. Staying late, taking every extra shift. Work can feel like the one place you still know what you are doing.
• →More drinking or more escape. A few more beers each night, more cannabis, gambling, gaming or scrolling until 2 a.m.
• →Worry that will not switch off. Money, the baby's safety, whether you are cut out for this, still running long after the house is quiet.
• →Sleep problems beyond newborn tiredness. Broken sleep comes with a new baby. The thing to watch for is lying awake when you finally have the chance to sleep.
• →Feeling like a spectator. Holding the baby and feeling flat, or feeling like a visitor in your own home.
• →Strain in the relationship. More arguments, less touch, a running tally of who did what.
• →Hopelessness. Believing you are failing, or that your family would be better off without you. That last thought is a reason to call or text 9-8-8 (Canada, 24/7) now.

When Does Postpartum Depression Start in Men?

Eastern Health describes symptoms in fathers and partners as developing gradually over the first year, with onset peaking at three to six months after birth. A man who felt fine at the hospital can be struggling once the visitors stop coming.

Why Does Depression in New Fathers Go Unrecognised?

• →The attention is, rightly, on the birthing parent. Prenatal and postpartum care is built around the person who gave birth. CAMH's guidance encourages clinicians to ask new fathers about their experience of becoming a parent and to screen them with the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale.
• →It does not match the picture. If depression is supposed to look like crying in bed, then working seventy hours and yelling at the television does not register, to him or to anyone around him. Our article on depression in men covers these less obvious signs outside the first year too.
• →Tiredness explains everything away. When nobody in the house is sleeping, low mood and a short temper have a ready excuse.
• →He thinks he has to be the steady one. Some men feel they have no right to struggle when their partner went through the birth, so "I'm not okay" goes unsaid.
• →It is still unfamiliar. Eastern Health points out that unfamiliarity with perinatal depression and anxiety in fathers and partners continues, which means it can go undiagnosed and untreated.

What Increases the Risk of Postpartum Depression in Men?

Risk factors are not a diagnosis. A man with none of them can still struggle, and a man with several can be fine. The sources above name these:

• →A history of mental health problems. CAMH lists psychiatric history. In the Canadian study, the fathers at highest risk of both anxiety and depression included those who reported anxiety during the pregnancy or depression before it.
• →A partner who is struggling. The JAMA meta-analysis found a positive, moderate correlation between depression in fathers and in mothers. CAMH's 2019 guidance states that when a pregnant woman or new mother has psychiatric problems, her partner faces a 24 to 50 per cent increased risk of depression.
• →Several big changes at once. CAMH names role transitions, relationship transitions, and the potential career and financial stress of having a child.
• →A hard past, or violence at home. The Canadian study also identified adverse childhood experiences and intimate partner violence among the factors linked with the highest risk.

What Can a Partner Do If a New Dad Seems Depressed?

If you are the partner, you may be worn out from the birth yourself, and you do not have to become his therapist. A few things are within reach:

• →Describe what you see, not what he is. "You've been staying late every night and you seem far away when you're home. I'm worried about you" lands differently from "You're depressed."
• →Keep it separate from his fathering. To a man who already feels he is failing, concern can sound like a verdict. Say that you are raising it because you care about him.
• →Make the next step small. Offer to find the doctor's booking line, or sit beside him while he books a free consultation.
• →Take talk of not wanting to be here seriously. If he talks about being a burden or harming himself or anyone else, call or text 9-8-8 (Canada, 24/7) together, and call 911 if anyone is in immediate danger.
• →Look after your own mood. Given the link between parents' depression, tell your own health care provider how you are doing.
• →Put safety first where there is fear. If his anger has turned into threats, intimidation or violence, your safety and the baby's come first, and joint counselling sessions are not the place to start.

Where Can New Fathers Get Help in Canada?

• →Your family doctor or nurse practitioner. They can assess what is going on and check for physical contributors. Thyroid problems, sleep apnoea, testosterone levels and medication effects are questions for a physician, not for an article. The Government of Canada's advice to dads includes talking to a health care provider and getting counselling.
• →A public health nurse. Eastern Health points fathers and partners to their public health nurse. If one is in contact with your family after the birth, you can mention your own mood too.
• →Postpartum Support International (PSI). PSI runs free, virtual support groups for dads, led by trained peer facilitators, and keeps a directory of perinatal mental health providers that covers Canada. PSI Canada is its Canadian presence.
• →Pacific Post Partum Support Society. This society, based in British Columbia, offers telephone and text support to partners and non-birthing parents on weekdays during the day (Pacific Time): 604-255-7999 by phone or text, or toll-free 1-855-255-7999 by phone. Its peer support groups are for parents living in BC.

Each of the six provinces TEO serves also has a health line. Five use 811; Manitoba uses a different number:

• →British Columbia: 8-1-1 (HealthLink BC), a health service navigator or registered nurse, 24 hours a day.
• →Alberta: Health Link, 811, health advice 24/7.
• →Saskatchewan: HealthLine 811, a confidential 24-hour line staffed by registered nurses, registered psychiatric nurses and registered social workers who can offer mental health support.
• →Manitoba: Health Links–Info Santé, 204-788-8200 in Winnipeg or toll-free 1-888-315-9257.
• →Ontario: Health811, 811, a registered nurse day or night.
• →Newfoundland and Labrador: 811 HealthLine, 811 or 1-888-709-2929, 24/7.

When Should a New Father See Someone?

There is no score you have to reach first. These are signs it is time to talk to your doctor or a therapist:

• →The changes have lasted weeks rather than days, and a full night's sleep does not shift them.
• →Your partner, a friend or a parent has told you they are worried.
• →Your anger is coming out in ways that frighten you or the people at home.
• →You are drinking, using, gambling or gaming more to get through the evenings. If that has become its own problem, see our page on addictions and recovery.
• →You feel detached from the baby, or like a spectator in your own family, and it bothers you.
• →Worry is running through your days and keeping you awake at night.

Thoughts that your family would be better off without you, or thoughts of suicide, are not a wait-and-see sign: call or text 9-8-8 (Canada, 24/7).

What Does Therapy Work On for Fathers After a Baby?

It is not an hour of being told you are a bad dad. Depending on what you bring, sessions can work on:

• →The loop you are stuck in. You feel useless, so you withdraw; withdrawing makes you feel more useless. Sessions map that pattern and look for places to interrupt it.
• →Anger before it lands. Noticing the early physical signals of a rising temper and practising what to do in the seconds before you say the thing you regret, using CBT and DBT skills (more on our anger management page).
• →The 2 a.m. worry loop. Separating problems you can act on from the ones you are replaying, the same ground covered in anxiety therapy.
• →The change in who you are. What kind of father you want to be, what you took from your own father, and what it means that your old life has changed shape, the ground covered in counselling for life transitions.
• →The relationship. How the two of you talk when you are both running on empty, in individual sessions or together.

More on how depression is approached at TEO is on the depression therapy page, and the men's mental health page looks at how anger, work stress and withdrawal can connect.

How Does Therapy at TEO Work With Postpartum Depression in Men?

TEO Counselling is an online practice with no office. Sessions are by video, so you can join from a spare room or a parked car. We work with clients in British Columbia, Ontario, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Newfoundland and Labrador.

If you would rather talk to a man, Mohamad Shabib is the male therapist at TEO. He holds an MACP, is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO), and is a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC) with the CCPA. He works with clients in all six provinces, in English or Arabic, has completed CBT for Trauma (Levels 1 and 2), DBT and Gottman Method (Levels 1 and 2) training, and has hands-on experience with concurrent trauma and addictions.

Individual sessions are $150 per 60-minute session. If the strain is showing up between the two of you, couples counselling is $175 per 60-minute session, with Mohamad or with Alison Shaji, RCC, who works with clients in British Columbia only. Both have completed Gottman Method training at Levels 1 and 2. Where there is violence or fear in the relationship, individual support comes first.

The first step is a free 15-minute consultation, by video or a scheduled phone call, booked online. No referral is needed. No provincial health plan covers private-practice counselling; receipts are provided for extended health plans, and direct billing is available with Mohamad or Alison for some plans (Pacific Blue Cross, CVAP and the TELUS eClaims network). See fees for details.

Sessions are confidential within legal limits: a child who needs protection, a mandatory report of sexual abuse by a regulated health professional, a serious risk of harm to you or someone else, or a court order or subpoena.

If You Are in Crisis

Therapy is not a crisis service. If you are thinking about suicide, or about harming yourself or someone else, call or text 9-8-8 (Canada, 24/7). If you or anyone else is in immediate danger, call 911. Kids Help Phone (for young people): 1-800-668-6868, or text CONNECT to 686868. Hope for Wellness Help Line (Indigenous people): 1-855-242-3310.

A First Conversation That Commits You to Nothing

You do not have to be sure it is depression to ask a question out loud. Book a free 15-minute consultation online, by video or a scheduled phone call, or text (519) 760-5211 if you would like to ask something first.

Asking one question is a reasonable first step.