The Shadow Work Handout

What this is

About the workbook

Shadow work has become a genre of internet content — mostly a list of dramatic questions and an invitation to feel bad about the answers. That is not what Jung was describing, and it is not especially useful. This is the version a therapist would actually hand you.

It covers what the shadow is (the disowned parts, not the bad ones — including the golden shadow, the good qualities you exiled), how to recognise one by its disproportion rather than by looking for it, three conditions to meet before you start, and eleven prompts with a note on what each is doing. It is explicit about where journalling stops being enough and needs another person in the room.

What is in the six pages

Six pages, six sections, in this order: what the shadow actually is, how to tell when you've found one, before you start, eleven prompts worth sitting with, what to do with the answers, and where this stops being self-help.

The first section sets out Jung's use of the word — the parts of yourself you have put out of sight, not because they are evil but because at some point they were unwelcome. Two examples show how the filing happens: a child praised for being easy learns to file away demanding, and a child whose anger frightened someone learns to file away anger. A boxed aside then makes the correction the rest of the handout rests on. The shadow is not the bad parts of you, it is the disowned parts, and not all of what gets disowned is bad. Jung's name for that second category is the golden shadow.

Recognising one by its disproportion

You cannot go looking for the shadow directly, because by definition you can't see it. What the second section offers instead is a way of noticing its tracks — six of them: irritation that runs far past what someone did and is oddly specific; a flash of contempt for a trait you would never name out loud; admiration that feels almost like ache; a compliment that doesn't land because something in you refuses it; catching yourself performing a version of you that you don't recognise; the same argument arriving with different people.

Jung's shorthand for the first three is projection. The handout is careful with the rule of thumb — it is not that everything which annoys you is your shadow, since some people are genuinely annoying. The disproportion is the signal. This is a place to look, not a checklist that returns a verdict about you.

The three conditions before you start

Before the prompts there is a box of three conditions. Do this when you are reasonably steady rather than at your worst; the handout says outright that shadow work is not a crisis tool, and that if today is already hard, this is the wrong day. Stop if you go numb or float — if you notice yourself going blank, watching yourself from a distance, or losing the thread, close the notebook. It gives something concrete to do at that point: feet on the floor, name five things you can see, let the breath out slower than you took it in. That reaction is framed as information rather than failure. The third condition is that some doors need someone else in the room, where there is trauma, active addiction, or a loss you are still inside of.

How the eleven prompts are meant to be worked

Three instructions come before the list. Write by hand if you can. Answer the one that makes you slightly uncomfortable rather than the one that's easiest. And one prompt is a full session — working through the whole list in an evening is described as a way of avoiding all of them.

Each prompt carries a line underneath about what it is doing, so the question does not arrive alone. Prompt two asks who you admire almost enviously and what they have permission to be, noting that envy points at something exiled rather than something missing. Prompt ten asks what you judge harshly in others that you have at some point done yourself, and tells you to write the incident, not the principle. Prompt eleven asks what the part of you that you like least would say it was protecting you from.

Integration, and where the handout stops

The section after the prompts is blunt that the point is not to fix anything and not to forgive anyone. Jung's word was integration: letting a disowned part back into the room, with a job, under supervision. The illustration given is anger — exiled anger returning as rage, acknowledged anger returning as the ability to say no in a normal voice. There is a practical instruction attached: after you write, do one small, boring thing that closes the loop. Make tea. Go outside. Say the sentence out loud to nobody.

The final section is about where a handout runs out. It names the clinician at TEO this work sits with, Alison Shaji, MA Clinical Psychology, Registered Clinical Counsellor, and the approaches she draws on — psychoanalytic work alongside DBT, EMDR, CBT and EFFT, plus inner child work and the empty chair technique.

Who this is for, and who should wait

The handout is for someone reasonably steady who has noticed a reaction too big for its cause — an irritation that is oddly specific, an admiration that aches, a compliment that will not land — and wants a way to sit with it that is not a list of dramatic questions. It suits a reader who can write by hand, answer one prompt per sitting, and do something ordinary afterwards to close the loop. It is also a fit for someone in therapy who wants the questions to bring in.

The handout's own three conditions say who should wait. It is not a crisis tool; if today is already hard, it is the wrong day. If you go numb, float, or watch yourself from a distance while writing, close the notebook and get company for the material. And where there is trauma, active addiction, or a loss you are still inside of, it says working alone can open more than you can hold and that a therapist stops being optional at that point. Bring it to a clinician first in any of those situations. It is educational material: it describes an idea and offers questions, and nothing in it is an assessment or a treatment.

How it fits with therapy at TEO

Shadow work is the depth end of psychodynamic therapy — the Jungian idea of integration, letting a disowned part back into the room with a job and under supervision. At TEO that work sits with Alison Shaji, MA Clinical Psychology, RCC, who sees clients in British Columbia and combines psychodynamic and inner-child work and the empty chair technique with DBT, EMDR, CBT and EFFT; the shadow work therapy page describes how it runs by video. The eleventh prompt — what the part of you that you like least is protecting you from — is close to the question Internal Family Systems (IFS) asks, and Mohamad Shabib, the practice's IFS-trained clinician, works with parts in that way and sees clients in all six provinces.

Therapy adds the person in the room the handout says some doors need. Sessions are by video across British Columbia, Ontario, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Newfoundland & Labrador, evenings and weekends included. A free 15-minute consultation comes first; individual sessions are $150 per 60-minute session.

Related pages: Shadow work therapy · Alison Shaji · IFS therapy.

Common questions

About using this workbook

This workbook is educational. It is not therapy, not an assessment, and nothing in it is a diagnosis. If you are in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 (Canada, 24/7); 911 in an emergency. Kids Help Phone (for young people): 1-800-668-6868, or text CONNECT to 686868.

Download the PDF

If you want to go further

Working on this with someone

A workbook can take you a surprising distance on its own. If you would rather not do it alone, TEO offers virtual therapy in British Columbia, Ontario, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Newfoundland & Labrador — evenings and weekends, with a free 15-minute consultation first and no obligation afterward.

Related: Self-esteem & identity.

More free workbooks

Others in the library

Browse all 24 free workbooks →